Wednesday, November 24, 2010

TESTED PRACTICAL TIPS ON CONTROLLING ANGER

Anger is as much a part of human behavior as happiness and sadness
are. However, there is a difference. While other types of displays of
emotion are not destructive, anger is a harmful phenomenon as it
brings about the worst in us and creates a sense of negativity in the
environment too.

Reasons for Anger

In order to control anger, one needs to understand the symptoms and
reasons that lead to anger. Some of them are -

- External Reasons - Unforeseen or unpleasant situations that are
beyond our control lead to anger. Also behavior of others like our
colleagues, spouse, boss, children, friends etc may lead to anger.

- Internal reasons - Most of the time it is our inner conflicts that
lead to anger. Not getting our way, frustrations of childhood, need to
control others, etc are some such reasons which may lead to anger.

Effects of Anger

More often than not, anger leads to unpleasant effects in our
relationships. It undermines our self esteem and self confidence and
most importantly, affects our health. It is thus important to harness
anger.

Ways to Control Anger

Anger management is very important since it plays up with our health
as well as social standing. Therefore, one would do well to control it
by some of the following methods.

- Recognize and avoid triggers that lead to anger.

- Be more forgiving and understanding.

- Acceptance of failures of self and others also leads to a more
harmonious situation.

- Lifestyle changes like proper diet, proper sleep, good hygiene and
good hobbies take the mind away from depressing and negative
situations thus preventing conflicting situations.

- Keep a positive outlook to life, avoiding negative thoughts and
negative feelings.

- Keeping calm and composed under all types situations

- Yoga and Meditation

Controlling anger builds bridges between people and leads to happy
relationships based on mutual respect, understanding and love.

These days we seem to be under pressure wherever we go. The roads are
busier than ever, people we meet in the street and in stores seem to
lack courtesy, and the stress levels at work have increased greatly as
businesses strive to become more "efficient".

Everywhere we go we are bombarded with advertising messages, and the
news media seems to have become biased, often seeming to promote those
we feel are unworthy, promoting "celebrity" instead of genuine talent.
Politicians are afraid to speak the truth for fear of being
deliberately misquoted in the media, or not towing the party line.

Life sometimes just seems to be designed to wind one up, and we become
a tinderbox of raw emotion, ready to explode at the nearest motorist
who makes a genuine mistake, from the anonymity of our car.

So how do you keep your temper under control? After all, anger is a
perfectly normal emotion; it's just our personal threshold, the point
at which it is triggered that we need to control.

Tip 1. The first thing to recognise that moment when you feel you are
about to lose it, is just try and step outside yourself and look at
this person. Is he being reasonable in losing his temper? Just by
pausing gives you a few moments to reflect on your anger before it
surfaces.

Tip 2. Learn to combine this pause for reflection with the taking of
deep breaths. As you breathe you will start to relax, and the anger
you felt building inside will subside.

Tip 3. Spend some time thinking about why you get angry. Think of the
consequences of losing your temper. Yes, it may feel good at the time
as you release all that pent up tension, but how do you feel later?
Usually we feel regret and more anger, this time directed at ourselves
for making such a scene.

Tip 4. Think about how you would feel about someone acting in the same
way as you. Imagine watching yourself the last time you got angry. How
do you feel? Is that what you want people to think of you?

The bottom line is, next time you feel like losing your temper take a
"chill pill".

Losing one's temper can sometimes be as a result of low self image.
Every time you choose (because it is a choice) not to get angry, you
will feel better about yourself. Further, the more you resist the
temptation to blow up, the easier you will find it to control your
temper without thinking about it.

HOW TO BE RATIONAL IN REACTIONS TO IRRITABLE ACTIONS

Do you ever find that you respond to a situation in a reactive way? Do
you ever lose your patience, avoid confrontation, or lack self-
discipline? I think most of us do at one time or another.

The key is to choose wisely how we use the space between the stimulus
and response.

For example, let's say that a coworker has been saying unkind things
about you to other people you work with. That is the stimulus. What
you choose to do with that stimulus is the response.

Reactive people allow outside influences (moods, feelings, and
circumstances) to control their responses.

Proactive people pause to allow themselves the freedom to choose their
response based on principles and desired results. Their freedom to
choose expands as they wisely use the space between the stimulus and
response.

Here is an exercise that will assist you in becoming a proactive
person rather than a reactive person.

1. Think of a situation where you consistently respond in a reactive
way (e.g. losing your patience, avoiding confrontation, speaking
without thinking).

2. What is a better, more effective way to respond?

3. What would be the positive consequences of responding in this new
way? (Who would be affected? What would be the impact?)

4. What is your commitment level to respond in this new way the next
time you are in this situation? (Circle the number that corresponds to
your commitment level.)

SIMPLE WAYS OF CHECKMATING AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER

Everybody wants to believe that their partner is faithful to them. That those loving looks and moments of intimacy are for them alone. The thought of another person leaning in to kiss the nape of their neck can drive you crazy, the idea that they might be laughing at another person's jokes, looking them in the eyes, sharing that special energy that you thought was for you two alone. How can you tell? What are some warning signs that your partner has either already begun to cheat on you, or is about to? First of all, check in with your gut feeling. The longer you are with somebody, the better you can read them. If something is off, but you don't know what, if you have the sensation that a disconnect has developed but you can't pinpoint why, that might be your unconscious telling you that something is up. So pay attention to your hunches�don't rationalize them away. However, this can also lead to disaster�if you are by nature a jealous person, it won't take much to set you off. Let your hunches serve you as an alert, not as the final verdict itself. A feeling that something is off could be reason to start paying attention, not to start yelling and demanding answers. Another thing to keep an eye out for is for your partner to suddenly grow randomly affectionate and caring. Sudden flowers, kisses, frenzied attacks in bed�these could all be attacks of conscious on their part, with their trying to relieve their guilt from having cheated by being extra nice to you. Again, hunches will go a long way here. If you're honestly puzzled by the sudden change in behavior, especially if this comes after a period of lack of interest and boredom, keep in mind it could signal something far worse than just an upswing in affection. Does your partner have a good friend of the opposite gender that they're always hanging out with? Notice how much they talk to you about them. You'll know you're the primary focus of your partner's interest if they share gossip and secrets about their friend with you; if instead they seem to be sticking up for them all the time, presenting you an ideal image of them or simply not talking about them, then that indicates that their comfort level has changed in discussing this friend with you. If your partner is cheating on you, they will be unhappy. While they might be enjoying their interludes with their new friend, when at home they will be anxious, moody, depressed, alternating between highs and lows. If your partner is starting to experience mood swings, one reason might be their inability to reconcile their cheating on you with their conscience, Remember: the most important part of any relationship is communication. Talk to your partner about your insecurities. How you discuss this is more important than anything else; accusations will elicit a defensive response. Rather, open up and tell them you are feeling a strange vibe, that you're not certain where they are emotionally, and you want to know if there's anything they want to tell you. If they brush you off, or laugh at you, well, then there's not much you can do. However, providing this window of opportunity to discuss problems is always healthy for a relationship, and can either trigger a confession or prevent your partner from going in the wrong direction by bringing them closer to you before they make their mistake.

HOW TO SIPHON YOUR UNFAITHFUL PARTNER'S PRIVACY

Do you want to know how to read your wife's text messages online? Would you like to know who your wife is always texting? Does she constantly text at random hours of the night and claim it is just a friend? There are many reasons why you should want to know how to read your wife's text messages online. Your wife may always be texting and never let you know who she is talking to. Is she over protective of her phone and say it's none of your business? Does your wife act suspicious whenever she has her phone out and everything becomes awkward? If you experience any of these with your wife you should definitely want to know how to read your wife's text messages online. It is much more efficient to read your wife's text messages online rather than trying to do it yourself. Many men try to take their wife's phone while they are in the shower or making dinner and try to look through her text messages very quickly. However, doing this won't be very useful. If your wife was really talking to other men she wouldn't leave the texts on her phone she would delete them once they finished talking. Women are smart. By trying to look through your wife's phone you also risk the chance of getting caught by your wife. If your wife sees you looking through her phone she will become very upset. It will cause much more problems whether or not she has inappropriate texts from other people. Your wife will begin to think you don't trust her and that you are always suspecting her of doing something wrong. The truth is you just care about your wife and want to know who she is always texting but of course she wouldn't think that. What if you were able to learn how to read your wife's text messages online? This way your wife would never know you were reading through her texts. You wouldn't have to go through all of the risks of getting caught looking through your wife's phone or the consequences of getting caught. You would be undetectable by your wife and she would never know that you were reading her text messages. You would be able to read all of your wife's text messages from the comfort of your computer. This is your chance to learn how to read your wife's text messages online and find out who your wife is always texting. There is finally a way to read your wife's text messages without having to physically have her phone. Figure out if all of your wife's suspicious actions really mean she is texting other men or doing inappropriate things. Get hold of your wife`s cell phone ones and you can install a software that will able you to read all her text messages even if she deletes them. You can access all her text messages online without her even knowing it. Find out exactly how this software works.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

SOME WORKABLE TIPS ON GETTING A GOOD JOB

A lot of us are in the position where we need to find paid employment with a company and are not sure how to go about it. This guide will attempt to assist you in your search for work and cut through some of the myths and red tape that may be in your way.

When looking for work it is commonly referred to as a job search. With any good job search there are certain things you have to remember and they are as follows.

Finding the jobs

Even in the current climate we live in and the hard financial times we currently experience there are jobs out there its just a question of where to look. In the good old days we really just had the papers and the local job centre to go by. With the evolution of the Internet we have far more to draw on now than ever before.

It all starts with the papers and websites. Collect the local papers, Look at the job websites, visit your local job centre which will more than likely have a website anyway. The important thing is to keep looking.

Sometimes you will find that there are jobs there that are not advertised and writing a speculative letter to some company's in your area will uncover these. Sometimes this is more appreciated.

Having a Good CV

The secret to any good job search campaign is advertising your self well and it is important to have a good CV to do this with. The thing you have to remember is people will get bored very quickly if your CV is to long and will stop reading it. You need to get the information over very quickly in deed. Keep it short two pages minimum and try to include all the prudent information on the top of the first page. Good headings to have on a CV are:

Personal Profile

Key Skills

Education / Vocational Education

Work History

Hobbies and interests

Remember, keep it short, keep it relevant!

Applying for the jobs

There's no hard and fast rule here as to what to expect as different companies have different recruitment procedures and it greatly depends on what industry you are pitching at. Some expect you to write a letter and a CV others expect an application form or a combination of all of them. The same rules apply you have to be accurate and ensure you include only relevant details that you prospective employer requires.

Application forms can be a little trickier. Make some copies of it and rehearse before you write the one you are going to send. Also pay special attention to any instructions such as writing in block capitals as these are deliberate to check your attention to detail. When you apply always try to get a name of a person that's dealing with things as this sounds allot better than to whom it may concern!. Also make sure anything gets sent first class as second class makes it look as if you are not to bothered about the position. And then most importantly wait for that interview.

The paperwork stage is very important as this gives that vital first impression of you and you abilities and a lot of people lose out here.

Interviews

This is probably the most vital part and most frightening part of the process as well as it is in your face and it is you against them trying to prove that you can do the job and prove you can get on with them. I know it sounds easier said than done but don't panic. Listen carefully to the questions that you are being asked and do your best to answer them as thoroughly as possible.

Also be aware that the interviewer is not there to make you feel foolish or to intimidate you so don't worry. If they do act that way in an interview then they are not good at what they do and really should take a course in better people skills. If you feel this way as well it is an indication that the company probably isn't right for you.

Accepting the job

Once the interviews are over its waiting time. Usually you will be told a time scale as to when you will hear something and also look out for the following comments.

If we offered you the job would you accept

How much notice do you have to give to your current employer

These are very good indications indeed and indicate you are a serious contender. If you get the we will be in touch routine then the chances are you have failed. If you don't hear anything for a time then phone up and enquire. In the event you are unsuccessful then it is an idea to find out why as well because it will help you with future interviews that you will undertake.

RIGHT PREPARATION FOR JOB INTERVIEWS

When attending a job interview it is often your make or break opportunity to sell yourself, deliver proof of your outstanding abilities and to win that job.

So if:

  • you're prone to suffer from extreme nervousness before a job interview
  • your mind goes blank when asked a question
  • you feel uncomfortable about selling yourself

These seven job interview preparation secrets will help you arrive at the interview in peak condition so that you perform strongly and give yourself the best possible chance of being chosen for that job.

Secret number one - put the law of primacy in your favor

Where ever possible try to organize to be the first person seen on the day of your interview. Your interviewers should be at their most alert and interested. A first appointment of the day will also put the Law of Primacy into play, in your favor - this means that we tend to remember the first person we meet, the first item on a list etc more easily than those in the middle.

Secret number two - the value of a good night's rest

Make sure you receive a good night's sleep the night before the interview. Also plan to prepare a meal that is full of foods that make you feel at your best, the evening before your interview. Before you go to sleep set an intention to sleep soundly and to awaken easily at an appropriate time feeling refreshed and ready to present yourself at your best.

secret number three - know exactly where you are going

Plan your route carefully, know exactly how to reach the interview destination and alternatives in case of unforeseen circumstances. If time and finances permit, do a practice trip to the place of the interview, at a similar time a day or so ahead of schedule. Plan to arrive 20 - 30 minutes to 30 minutes early on the day and either remain in your car or have a suitable place close to your interview destination where you can sit, take stock, relax and prepare yourself with some breathing exercises or a final run through of key questions and how you intend to answer them so that there will be no doubt in the interviewers mind/s that you are the right person for the job.

secret number four - check and recharge your energy levels

Because energy and the demonstration of energy is such an important factor in how we are perceived being aware of your energy levels and output, and whether it is a match for the level of energy required on the job you are applying for. Do you need to be very bright, active fast and demonstrate a high level of energy or does the job you are applying for require a quiet, focused alertness or anything in between? To raise your energy levels you might jump up and down, punch the air and say "yes, yes, yes" so that you feel pumped and ready to perform. Or if you need to calm yourself down to perform at your best and some simple meditation and relaxation techniques may be appropriate. Know yourself and practice beforehand.

Secret number five - use all your senses

To help you get into the best frame of mind and peak performance state you can use ALL of your senses. Do you have a favorite piece of music? Maybe a favorite quote or a special routine physical routine that helps you get on top and feel sharp, alert, focused and ready for anything. Make sure you schedule time to go through these rituals and habits on the day of the interview. Images that inspire, even smells that elicit memories of you performing at your best. Taste is a little harder - because you don't want to eat or drink anything for about an hour before the interview unless it is a sip of room temperature water. What is your taste of success?

Secret number six - check everything - twice

Check all your clothes and any bags the night before the interview to make sure you have absolutely everything you need and that your clothes are clean, wrinkle free and have no buttons missing. Do you have a map with the address clearly highlighted? Is your phone fully charged? (just in case you are unavoidably delayed.) You will of course turn off your phone before you enter the building. Do you know the name of the person you will be seeing? Do you have extra copies of your resume and reference list available?

Secret number seven - how to prepare strong answers for anticipated questions

Have you prepared, to the best of your ability, examples and proof of results that you have achieved to date, and what you can do for your potential employer?

For example: If it is a customer service position you are going for you could anticipate questions such as: Tell us about a time when you delivered exceptional customer service.

Tell us about the most challenging customer problem you have ever resolved.

How do you cope with confrontational people?

What follow-up systems to use to ensure customer issues are resolved and not just abandoned as "too hard"?

For each of these types of questions and any others that you believe you may be questioned about in the interview you need to prepare with examples that included facts and figures, where ever possible. Your job is to "paint the picture" or "tell the story" so that it is crystal clear to your interviewers that you have what they are seeking. To create your examples follow this very simple procedure.

C - Circumstance - where were you? what we are doing? what was the problem?
A - the Action you took to resolve the issue and
R - the Result you achieved.

So there you have my seven secrets to being well-prepared for any job interview. Use them as a guide to help you develop your own patterns and habits for job interview preparation, that will set you up for success.

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

You are invited out to dinner next week with a group of well known people in your community most of whom you have not met but know about through the news media. You readily accept. You check out a couple of them on the Internet, learning about their education and their professional and personal accomplishments so you can relate to them in conversation. Initially you are excited about it and then you thoughts begin to ramble. Ideas begin to creep in, ideas such as:

  • What can I possibly wear that will look good enough? I had better get something new.
  • What if they do not like me?
  • What if I cannot carry on my part of the conversation?
  • What if they realize I am not on their level?
  • What if I embarrass myself?
  • I should not have accepted.
  • I will not fit in.
  • I do not hink I can do this.
  • They will see how out of place I really am.
  • I do not want to make a fool of myself.
  • ...and so on.

Notice how your thoughts have changed from questions to statements. The day of the dinner, you decide you do not feel well and you call in your regrets to the person who invited you.This is a little extreme but the scenario is played out frequently in any number of situations - perhaps consciously, perhaps not. Had you focused on the positive outcomes of the situation you could have attended, enjoyed the dinner and ended up with new acquaintances and possibly new friends who could enrich your life.

Let us look at some other similar scenarios.

You are studying for an advanced degree and have an important exam to take. You fear that you will freeze and your mind will draw a blank at each question. You begin to doubt your mastery of the material and, even though you have spent hours in preparation, your thoughts have declared you a failure before you even start the test. You have set yourself up for failure in a situation that you could ordinarily handle with ease.

You are asked to give some serious consideration to writing a book or a series of articles. You ask a couple of friends what they think and you get both positive and negative feedback. By the time you need to make a decision and give your response, the negative input has won and you say, "Thanks, but the answer is no." Perhaps you would have written a best seller but you will never know.

You visit an on-line dating site and receive a number of responses. You consider each one and decide that none of them work for you. You do this, not because you have good information that lets you know they are not a good match for you, but because your thoughts led you to believe they would not like you.What have you missed by that assumption?

You didn't sleep well last night or the night before so today your thoughts dwell on the possibility that you will not sleep again tonight. You have set yourself up not to sleep and, no surprise, you have another restless night. There are steps you can take to make a good night's sleep a possibility and one of them is to manage your thoughts.

You are told that the boss wants to see you first thing in the morning. You spend the evening and night worrying that he has a negative review to give you, or you are going to get a change in your job, or that you may be getting laid off or fired. By the time of the meeting you have worked yourself into a frenzy with your negative thinking. The fact is that the boss called you in to tell you are getting a promotion accompanied by a raise.You go in tired and with a negative attitude based simply on your own negative thoughts.

Think about your own thoughts. Where do they lead you? Do you let them help your soar to new heights? Or do you allow them to control your mind, your attitudes, your emotions, your desires, your decisions in a negative way? Do you allow your thoughts to sabotage you and keep you from taking necessary risks and therefore from enjoying some remarkable success? I am not talking about situations in which "no" is the best answer or about recognizing that a situation truly is not the best for you. I am talking about allowing your thoughts to take over and influence a decision in an unfortunate and unfavorable way

If the answer is "yes" what can you do about it? While this is probably not new information but simply a reminder, there are several things you can do, for example:

  1. Become aware of your thinking - serve as your own "thought monitor." When you notice a trend toward the negative, take control. Watch for patterns. Awareness is key.
  2. When you don't have all your facts, gather information that allows you to make intelligent, informed decisions. This will help you avoid jumping to false conclusions based on negative input from your own thoughts.
  3. Develop a pattern of positive thinking.
  4. a. Write positive affirmations that are realistic for you and use them on a regular basis.
    b. Develop a habit of journeying on a daily basis about those things you appreciate, are grateful for and that give you joy. For example, write down five things daily that you are grateful for or that you appreciate. It doesn't need to be a long, time consuming exercise. This starts or ends your day on an upbeat note.
    c. Look for the possible positive outcomes from negative experiences. What did you learn?
  5. Become more aware of your own strengths, ideas and beliefs.

Remember that thoughts are things and they create. Can you name one thing in existence that did not start out as a thought? Me neither.

HOLD ON TO YOUR INNER SELF

Emotions are important in building your confidence because they drive your behaviour and how you feel about yourself. They also have an enormous impact on your health and well-being. When you start to get in tune with your emotions, you start to get to know them better and listen to them. As you do this you will gather vital information about what is happening to you. By becoming more self aware, you put yourself in a stronger position by being able to manage your emotions instead of reacting to other people and circumstances.

As you begin to start take control of your emotions you may be tempted to never allow yourself to get angry or fearful, it sounds sensible to drop these out of your life, right? Absolutely not! Even your most negative emotions have their place in looking after you. They confirm you are both alive and real. Your job is to notice your emotional reactions and focus the energy from them appropriately.

Assessing your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence relates to being able to rein in your emotional impulses, to read others innermost feelings, and to handle relationships smoothly. These concepts are so important they are being incorporated into business as well education.

Emotional intelligence relates to a range of competencies of the following two aspects;

Personal Competence

How you handle yourself, your awareness of your feelings, and your understanding of your own capabilities.

Social Competence

How you handle relationships with other people, in particular how you handle unhelpful reactions, how you show empathy, and how much flexibility in dealing with difficult situations.

Remember no matter what you do it is your ability to manage both your emotions and to be able to bring the best out of those people around you that will make the difference between success or failure. If you lose your temper you risk losing a customer or damage an important relationship.

The good news is you can improve your emotional intelligence over time. Your emotional intelligence is not dictated by what you are born with. There are a number of formal tools on the market that can be used to understand the fine details of your own emotional intelligence and how you score.

These tools are very useful but to make the most use of them it helps if you have people around you who can provide you with feedback. It is best to do this with a coach as the feedback you receive can be very challenging to deal with.

HOLD ON TO YOUR INNER SELF

Emotions are important in building your confidence because they drive your behaviour and how you feel about yourself. They also have an enormous impact on your health and well-being. When you start to get in tune with your emotions, you start to get to know them better and listen to them. As you do this you will gather vital information about what is happening to you. By becoming more self aware, you put yourself in a stronger position by being able to manage your emotions instead of reacting to other people and circumstances.

As you begin to start take control of your emotions you may be tempted to never allow yourself to get angry or fearful, it sounds sensible to drop these out of your life, right? Absolutely not! Even your most negative emotions have their place in looking after you. They confirm you are both alive and real. Your job is to notice your emotional reactions and focus the energy from them appropriately.

Assessing your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence relates to being able to rein in your emotional impulses, to read others innermost feelings, and to handle relationships smoothly. These concepts are so important they are being incorporated into business as well education.

Emotional intelligence relates to a range of competencies of the following two aspects;

Personal Competence

How you handle yourself, your awareness of your feelings, and your understanding of your own capabilities.

Social Competence

How you handle relationships with other people, in particular how you handle unhelpful reactions, how you show empathy, and how much flexibility in dealing with difficult situations.

Remember no matter what you do it is your ability to manage both your emotions and to be able to bring the best out of those people around you that will make the difference between success or failure. If you lose your temper you risk losing a customer or damage an important relationship.

The good news is you can improve your emotional intelligence over time. Your emotional intelligence is not dictated by what you are born with. There are a number of formal tools on the market that can be used to understand the fine details of your own emotional intelligence and how you score.

These tools are very useful but to make the most use of them it helps if you have people around you who can provide you with feedback. It is best to do this with a coach as the feedback you receive can be very challenging to deal with.

BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE FIRST

We all have it but how well do you use yours? Intuition is your gut feeling, that magical sense in each of us that can act as guide if you choose to listen to it. It often comes to us in those 'aha' moments, those sudden flash of insight. Intuition is what you have got when you pay attention to your unconscious mind. When you get in touch with your intuition, you connect with what you really want in life, and follow that true sense of direction that confident people have.

Tuning into your intuition

Listening to your intuition can give you valuable information about what is really going on for you at a deeper level. When you listen to your inner self, you become connected with the energy within your body - physically, spiritually and emotionally. Your intuition may not always give you the 'right' answer, but it can be incredibly powerful to work with rather than against it. Your intuition can help you to:

  • Make sense of a situation
  • Achieve your goals
  • Find new ways around problems
  • Improve your decision making abilities
  • Notice things that need your attention

So how do you know when your intuition is kicking in? Usually its when you find yourself thinking: this is strange, how bizarre, or what a coincidence. You may get an insight that you are letting go of the rational and logical thoughts and just going with what feels right.

Listening to your inner self

You can release your intuition by using your imagination to think about problems in a completely different way. When facing a challenge try this approach:

1. State the issue to yourself
2. Let go of the facts and quieten your rational mind
3.Sit in silence without interruption for 15 minutes
4.Open yourself to the intuitive thoughts and insights that come to you

You may become aware of visual images, sensations in your body, or a connection with a particular person or place.

5. Allow your analytical mind to wake up and get to work on the intuitive thoughts

The more you practice this technique the more in tune you will become to your inner self.

HOW TO MANAGE GRIEF

Grieving is not a nice feeling. It can make you feel like your insides are being torn around. It may seem impossible to move on with your life. But there is hope. There are ways to get through the grieving process so that you can become a stronger person and stay connected to the people you love. Losing someone you love might have happened in one of two ways. Either his passing was expected or not. Both ways do not matter in the way you will grieve but will affect the way that you initially felt when you found out that the person was gone. If you had no idea that your loved one was going to pass, then your initial reaction might be shock. The kind of shock that leaves you wondering if you`re dreaming and if what is happening is real. Often people in this stage cannot process the information properly and cannot function in general. When a loved one passed away and you knew that it was going to happen, you will still be shocked but will believe it in a way. Knowing that someone is dying can give you the room your mind needs to process the event and prepare for it a bit. There are some stages you might go through in your process through grief. The first one is shock and getting through the notion of it. Your body is going to feel shocked and your mind as well. During this stage you might cry off and on and have up and down feelings. Your emotions might feel like they are on a roller coaster, as one minute you are laughing at a good memory, while the next minute you are crying. Your body while going through shock might not be able to properly function as well. You might feel tired all the time and feel the need to sleep. You might not have an appetite and therefore will not want to eat or drink. It is important during this stage, to ensure that you force yourself to eat and drink, because if you let your body get run down then it will ultimately affect how you can heal inside. The next stage in the grieving process might be a feeling of anger. You might feel angry that your loved one died. Maybe he was too young, or died in a way that could have been prevented. Perhaps it was an illness or an older relative that you did not expect to pass. Feeling angry is normal and can make you feel like you need someone to blame. During this time it is best to keep communicating about your feelings to other loved ones or a professional who will listen to your thoughts. If you keep feelings bottled up inside it could be destructive to your healing process. The next stage of grief can only be healed through the passing of time. And the stage is considered a time where you finally realize that your loved one is gone. You have gone through the initial shock and felt the anger and pain of it and the next step is actually feeling his absence in your life. This is the stage where you will miss hearing his voice, or seeing or touching him. With the passing of time, you realize that he is not coming back and that you won`t see him again. These feelings can often feel a bit claustrophobic. Because there are things that you cannot change no matter what. The best thing to do is try to remember his life. This can be done by looking through photos, watching videos and remembering special times that you had.

LAUGH YOU PROBLEMS TO ABYSS

When we think of funny life quotes the first thing that comes to mind are the Anonymous internet web sarcasms that are hilariously true to the complex sensibilities of life. However, very few might actually consider the fact that some of the most famous life quotes are brilliantly entertaining in the modern context, and can have a variety of effects on people from different walks of life. This article takes a look at some famous quotes and what it could mean for everyone around us. Case1: "Give me a museum and I'll fill it"- Pablo Picasso Picasso might have been talking about the delicate intricacies of art and sculpture but his comment of confidence is apt for a lot of people all around. To our parents, it could be an option to say "Give me a child and I'll ruin it", trying to be what we are by forcing their opinions on us. It could be a chance for them to fill our minds with old songs, silent movies and lots and lots of schoolwork to bring us up like a model sculpture. We might be modeled on good values but end up just being a showpiece on the mantle. Our senators might take funny life quotes a step further when they say "Give me a citizen and I'll bill it", an interesting way to say how our life would be flooded with legislatures and taxes. We might run out of basic amenities but what better way to be a model citizen than pay breathing tax! Case 2: "The only way to get red of a temptation is to yield to it"- Oscar Wilde Kids of today might find it the perfect inspiration to live life on their terms. Sleeping late, watching television, skipping schools, overdose of sugar-everything is just a strenuous effort to get rid of bad habits and be a better person. Washing off our sins was never this much fun! Infact, a large section of society can be affected by funny life quotes. Crime could be the new way of reformation for policemen and the seven deadly sins committed by mankind could actually end up being the scriptures of self enlightenment. The world might be ruined, but at least it would get ruined while having fun. Case 3: "We didn't lose the game, we just ran out of time."- Vince Lombardi This could be a moral lesson for sports all over the world. Anyone being pulverized on the field could gracefully maintain their dignity by claiming that the lack of infinite time led them to win a seemingly impossible game. Dalai Lama could explain his failed political visits to Tibet by claiming that he did not lose faith in China, but the time of discussion was too short. Historically, Mahatma Gandhi could re-escalate our belief in Non-Cooperation Movements by proudly declaring the movement was not a failure, history did not give it enough time to lead to independence. Imagine reclaiming the glory of a proud nation! Tongue firmly in cheek, the article attempts to explain how funny life quotes can be misinterpreted all around, so one should be inspired by the positivity of a quote and not the literal quote itself.

OUR THOUGHTS DIRECT OUR BEHAVIOURS

Have you ever thought why you behave the way you do? Has it ever occurred why you feel the way you feel? Maybe you have your own explanation for that, but I am absolutely convinced that our thoughts and attitudes form our feelings, actions and us as personalities. Before you do something, you will definitely think about it. Maybe you do not do it consciously but it obviously happens on a subconscious level. Why is it so?

Most of our actions are direct result of our habits. It takes time to form a habit. First we have a thought in mind. If we keep it for some time we start expressing that thought through words and finally actions follow. If we repeat the process for a number of times it slowly but surely becomes a habit in our lives. If we always react negatively to the suggestion or offer that is made to us it simply means that in a matter of some time we formed this kind of behavior through our negative attitude. It shows that we believe we have to reject something before we can accept it. I do not mean to say it is bad or good, I am just trying to show the process how our attitudes are formed. If we repeat something for a number of times it becomes a habit and finally we are able to do it subconsciously. If you drive a car you know what I mean. Most probably you were very nervous when you tried to drive for the first time. I bet it was quite different when you sat to drive after one year of driving. I guess you do not have to think what you have to do when you get into a car. You do everything habitually.

Now think if you trained yourself to view everything around you from a negative perspective. It does not matter how or why you formed it, but your negative worldview directs your actions and your whole life. I think you see now why so many people around us are so unhappy. It is not because life is unjust to them, but because of their reaction and attitude to life. We might not be able to stop what happens to us, but we definitely can change our attitude and reaction towards what happens to us. Our attitude is the thing that matters most. You decide to be pessimistic or optimistic when you fail. You decide whether it is the end of the world or the beginning of it when you lose a job.

I have heard so many people say: "I cannot behave and think like that. That is simply not me". The good news is that you decide what kind of person you want to be and what thoughts you want to harbor in your mind. One day those thoughts become yours. They become part of your worldview. That's how you formed thoughts that you have now. You kept in your mind for some time until they became yours.
So if you want to change your life change your thoughts and your attitude. With time your words, actions and life will change. It is just a matter of time.

HOLD TIGHT THE MOST FLEXIBLE OBJECT ON EARTH

The tongue is that most flexible part any individual. Have you ever thought about how powerful words can be? You can use them to either build up or tear down others.

The Bible specifically gives instruction that whichever way you decide to use words will have certain consequences. It is easy to think you can get by with saying bad things because the consequences usually don't come right away. We would probably all be much more careful about what we say if we felt the immediate results of our actions.

A person who has developed a very negative attitude wasn't usually born that way. Satan is always on the lookout for the tiniest of openings where he can affect your life. If he can win in one small area, he knows he has a chance of dragging you down. He will start small, but if you give in he will progress to bigger and bigger things until he has control over a huge area; then he will break down your spirit.

How do you feel at the end of a day where you have said good things, had good thoughts, and practiced doing good things? It will certainly be much better than when you don't make it a habit to practice those things.

Negative talk affects your spirit greatly. It doesn't take much of it before you get in a bad mood; then you start to take it out on others, who wonder what they have done that would make you be ill towards them.

You always have a choice as to the words that come out of your mouth. You truly can make your life better by speaking good words. It will be health to your very being.

If you have started to become negative, make it a point to watch what you say for one week. At the end of a week, compare it to the previous weeks and see which way you would prefer to live on a daily basis.
With God's help you can control your tongue and keep it from speaking negative things.

In order to stay on the right track, have a plan of action for when you start to slip back into your negative ways. As soon as you become aware of it, force yourself to get into a better frame of mind. Tell yourself that you don't have to continue in this way. It is amazing how having a plan of action beforehand can help you stay on the right track.

You can't control things that happen, but you can control how you respond to those things. Making the right choice ultimately will mean a more peaceful life, which means less stress and better health.

YOU CAN SMILE AGAIN

According to the experts, moods are emotions that have the tendency to become fixed. And that influence one's outlook for hours, days, weeks or even months in certain cases. If your mood is a pleasant one, it is great, but becomes a problem if you're angry, anxious, sad or simply lethargic. Perhaps the best way to deal with such moods is to talk them out, but sometimes though, there is just no one to listen.

So next time you feel moody again, don't head for the doctor or pharmacy, try one or more of these remedies.

Think positive.People are often depressed when their thought patterns are negative and distorted. Often, negative moods are caused by harsh, unrealistic ways of thinking. Think positive thoughts, and you're actually more likely to feel happy! Try to take an interest in somebody else. Not only will you delight that person, you will also lift yourself out of your own self-destructive mood.

Dream.Sleep can lift a bad mood by relieving exhaustion and allows us to benefit from one of the oldest forms of mental therapy: dreaming. Dreams serve an important mood regulatory function by helping us assimilate stressful events.

Lighten up.Many people suffer from a type of winter doldrums, called Seasonal Affective Disorder. People suffering from SAD may benefit from spending more time outdoors during the winter months. Installing a full spectrum fluorescent light, found in plant and pet shops, may also help. The key is to surround yourself with more light.

Eat right.Scientists have long time ago reported a direct link between food and mood. Carbohydrates eaten on its own are a sort of comfort food with a tranquilizing effect because carbohydrates stimulate the brain's production of serotonin, responsible for making you feel calm and relaxed. Protein again tends to sustain alertness and energy. Caffeine can also be a "culprit" in mood altering, as it may increase depression, irritability and anxiety.

Listen to music. You can alter your mood by listening to music. There is something called Iso-moodic Principle, which is a way to change your mood through listening to music. First, you match music to your existing mood, and then you gradually change the music to reflect the mood you want to get into. For instance, if you are feeling sad, you can start by listening to a song you consider sad. Listen to four or five selections going from sad to happy, gradually moving towards your desired mood.

Use color. Color is a nutrient for the mind and soul, just as vitamins for the body. If you want to move away from a frustrated and irritable mood, stay away from red. If you feel down and depressed, wear and surround yourself with bright colors that will lighten your mood and lift your spirits. To get relief from tension and anxiety, choose neutral colors that have a calming and soothing effect. Hospitals use soft shades of blue or green to calm patients.

Exercise.Aerobic exercise seems to be the most effective cure for a bad mood of all the mood-altering self-help techniques. Exercise causes biochemical and various other changes in the body that makes it more favorable compared to drugs as a mood-raiser. Physical work such as housework is not the solution though. The secret is aerobic exercise like swimming, walking, cycling and running. Any sustained and repetitive activities that boost the heart rate and increase blood circulation to improve the body's oxygen utilization. The ideal is a twenty-minute session, three to five times a week.

STILL ON STARTING YOUR DAY WITH POSITIVITY

How many of you greet the day with a positive outlook? Lets see a show of hands......wow, not very many, huh? That is not really much of a surprise.

Most of us have a tendency to wake up, feeling like you didn't have enough sleep, the day is gray and overcast, maybe we have a ton of things to do and we don't look forward to it. Sound familiar? I know it used to for me.

Years ago, I did not have any knowledge of positive thinking...no clue. I would bitch, moan and complain about just about everything. How do you think people around me felt? "Oh god, there's Dan, the ultimate griper". Talk about someone you really didn't want to be around much...:).

When I was injured in a work accident in 1978 and was in the hospital, a nurse told me I needed to think about positive things and not to worry, it would help me through my physical therapy and I would get better, faster.

I wanted to believe her, so I made up my mind that I was going to look at things in a fresh, new way. That was my first experience with the power of the mind.

I set out to be the best patient and I had a goal; to get back on my feet again, to walk, to go water skiing again. I worked hard, went to the gym, sweated and refused to believe that I would never walk.

One year to the month of my injury, two friends of mine took me on a boat to go water skiing. I got out on two skis and dropped one and started to slalom. Can you imagine how I felt? I was elated! I had done it.

I started a job in marketing and sales and over time, started to go to little seminars to improve my sales output. Most everything that I encountered was dealing with the mind and how it can make us a positive and more valuable person to the company.

I started to realize that I could take this new found knowledge and use it to my advantage throughout all phases of my life. People would enjoy my friendship, because I had a positive impact on them. More often than not, I was experiencing joy, great relationships, better results in my career and more opportunities that came my way. I was given awards and recognized among my peers.

This has also compounded my achievements as a disabled athlete, making me work harder and have greater expectations in what I wanted to accomplish. I looked at everything in a positive light and even if I failed, or couldn't do something right, I would ALWAYS look ahead and knew that I could do it. I just knew it.

You can do yourself a favor by looking into this simple, yet very powerful way to change your own life. Read as much as you can about visualization, the power of thinking positive and how to re-arrange your thought processes. It can change your perspective on everything and help you be successful in your relationships and your career.

When you are trying to work at home, making income online, this new found awareness will be a great attribute to be a successful Internet marketer and will help you to be a affiliate marketing powerhouse.

SILENCE IS NOT ENOUGH BUT CALMNESS IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS

In the last recently published article in this blog site, we discussed self meditation and laid emphasis on it's becoming importance in life today. We live in a high stress society, more pressure is placed upon us now than ever before, whether it is your relationships, your job, your finances or your children the inability to stay calm under pressure will make even the minor problems major ones unless you can control your emotions. Here are five tips for staying calm and keeping cool under pressure. Tip for staying calm number one. Take a deep breath. When you feel like things are out of control and the pressure is too much to bear, breathing is the body's physical way of exhaling stress. Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose and exhale, layout your mouth. It is amazing the calming effects that breathing can have on you while stressed. Tip for staying calm number two. Do nothing for five minutes. Unless the semi truck his beard off into your lane or you're on a plane that's about to crash chances are your stress can wait five minutes, when you feel that you are about to be out of control and you need to calm down one of the best things to do is remove yourself from the situation and do nothing for five minutes if you're at work excuse yourself and go to the bathroom if you are at home take a walk around the block, there are 1 million ways that you can excuse yourself from the situation and take five minutes to get calm. Tip for staying calm number three. Take a nap. It worked for us when we were children and it still works for us as adults, taking a nap is one of the most calming things that you can do. Even if it's only for 15 or 20 minutes if you feel yourself extremely stressed or out of control and have the ability to take a quick nap you will be amazed at how you feel when you wake up. The reason why you are calm when you wake up from a nap is going to sleep gives your brain the ability to catalog and re-process information and allows the adrenaline levels in your body to dissipate. If you are looking for a surefire way to stay calm taking a nap is a great start, why do you think we have the phrase "let me sleep on it"it's because sleep allows you to look at things in a new perspective. Tip for staying calm number four. Play games and or exercise. When you are not calm chances are unless you are a caveman your bodies fight or flight mechanism is going crazy this is causing adrenaline and endorphins to rush through your body at unusually high levels. Playing games and physical exercise will allow your body to dissipate this adrenaline and bring you to a more calm state. Tips for staying calm number five. Talk about other topics. Nothing makes you more stressed when you are hardy out of control than staying on the subject that brought you there in the 1st place. Doing something as simple as changing the subject can help you get calm and you can always go back and revisit the topic with a clear head and a calm heart. If you are having an argument with your spouse and feel yourself getting out of control it's quite all right to let them know that you really would like to calm down and could we talk about something else for few minutes.

YOU WORTH MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE

Many a time you hear people such odd words about themselves as "I am a failure" It's something many of us have said to ourselves in moments of despair and self-pity. Especially when things are going badly, we can feel like we have not succeeded in our lives. It can destroy our confidence. The thing to remember is that the words we choose to express our emotions can be very powerful. You might be feeling bad about something, but saying to yourself "I am a failure" is only going to make things worse. Sure, there is a part of you that gets comfort out of making yourself feel worse, but part of making progress in your self-development is making better choices. Training yourself to make better choices when you are feeling down is part of learning how to gain confidence. The problem with "I am a failure" is that it makes you generalize. It is usually one thing in one area of your life that goes wrong and puts you in a negative mood. That negative mood makes you look around at other areas of your life and try and spot the things that are going wrong. As they say, if you look for it, you will find it. So you will invariably find things that are "wrong" about other areas in your life. Once the momentum is there, you can look at any area of your life and find something wrong with it. By the process of generalizing, you take one thing that has gone wrong and turn it into a whole life worth of poor results. You can even take it a step further and not just focus on everything that is going wrong now, but cast a negative eye over your history. And it is a short step towards declaring that you have never achieved anything in life. And of course if you fall into the trap of thinking that you have been a lifelong underachiever, then it's not hard to think "I am a failure". But where did this all begin? It began, probably with a poor performance in one task. That's how it usually begins. You fail one test. You strike out with one girl. You miss out on a job interview. But by letting yourself get carried away with your thoughts, you turn one bad situation into "I am a failure". If you can catch yourself at the beginning of this little ride, it's a great thing. Another great thing to remember is to ask yourself 2 questions. Is thinking like this making me feel good? And is thinking like this going to help me achieve my goals. The answer is a resounding no on both counts. Generalizing from one task to your entire life is common but it doesn't have to be. Be vigilant. Catch yourself doing it. Remind yourself that the poor performance only relates to that one area and that any spill over of emotions to other areas of life is because you are generalizing. If you can do this, you will find it is much easier to maintain confidence in even the most difficult situations.

DISCOVER YOUR INNER SELF TO ENHANCE YOUR PERFORMANCE

Self Miracle Is Your Psychological Judgment Instinctively A self Miracle must be unstated as an achievement. It is reached by you and established. Your understanding, works without thinking and equivalent with your ingenious. Change your time and it is doable the results may not be observed by you at all, as you are already enjoying the life-changing moments. Your "Survival Kit" Is Brain Power and Is What Drives You Creative visualization and enthusiasm is a key in understanding and are included in what I call "survival kit" for the heart and soul. I show You what is in the "survival kit" and are shaping Your Self Miracle 1.Know that you are always loved. 2.Lend a hand to others and you will find help yourself. 3.Let everything you want have its time to come to you. When all the 3 parts mentioned above are doing fine as one your Self Miracle will be yours when looked-for. Know That You Are Always Loved No one can live without being loved. You can open your wits to others only to get the contact and learn for yourself. Adore is, when studying it, a condition when everything is neutral. Nothing is hurting you; your spirit, not your body or your mind is hurt, in this neutral state. You are feeling very calm. The real life is you. This is when the energy, surrounding you, is steady and firm and has no and has no power on you. Now when the whole thing is "comfortable" the real you can make the life-changing decision � you are neutral! The right and exact information's comes to you and you are living and approaching your "Self Miracle." Help others and you will get help yourself When helping others, you use your understanding to get things quicker and easier done for eternity helping others. Your friends, your coworkers make days easier to live and get through when helping others. If you do your work helping others, you will be respected and "highly ranked." You are going to feel better and you find that every day is your Self Miracle. Let Everything You Want, Have Its Time to Come to You "It is time for this to happen!" I believe that you have heard that before sometime. In my studies and doing psychic readings I see that we are in so great hurry in letting everything happen before it is at all a option. I say: "You have your own schedule for everything in life." If you rush yourself and push your life, then you overlook the opportunity to live. Is this easy and obvious enough? If you want your Self Miracle to come to you and expand "Enjoy your steps in life."Be the witness of life." "Find the very small signal of progress that you get every day, and in real life that confirms your dreams or goals" If you are very decisive knowing what you want, then life gives you everything.

BUILD EVERGREEN ETIQUETTE TODAY

In order to stand out from competition I will share with you some tips that will be useful for you. These guidelines are simple and easy to implement. You can include them into your day to day lifestyle straight away. You will attain mastery in absolutely no time and with little practice. Bill Kelly has stated that to show respect towards people one of the ways is good manners. Here are the tips for good manners and if followed as a practice everyone will reflect your good manners: 1. When going for a business meal, the meal is supposed to be eaten first and then the business matters should be discussed. Business matters should be discussed prior to the meal or when you are about to complete your meal. 2. Ensure that incase you have missed a call it is returned. It's a part of good manners to return the unanswered phone calls or the voice mail messages within 24 hours. Incase you need to take time to think of an appropriate response, then slight delay is also ok. 3. Ensure that you are always on time for business. There are no excuses for delay. Incase you are late and make up an excuse, it's not a good sign and not really taken well by people. 4. Words such as I'm sorry should be avoided incase you missed what was being told to you. It's better to respond with "I beg your pardon." Stating that you are sorry is usually said as an admission of guilt or to offer empathy. 5. Its always important to thank someone if someone has done a favor or something nice for you. Thank with a little note or card depending on the person you are sending this to. This only solidifies the relationship and one thank you can go a long way. 6. RSVP; respond if you please, it means that when an invitation is received which needs you to RSVP; only a confirmation is needed here. All you need to do is confirm your presence. 7. A sign of good etiquette is never to interrupt or cut down a person who is explaining something. It's always important to give due respect to that person and lend an ear completely. 8. People who ensure that you are in business are your clients, customers. It's important that you defer to them. This only shows respect towards them. This is an act of high regard and admiration. If you put the other person's interest first, it's a part of good customer service. 9. You must refer to the customers or clients by their first name only if you have been invited to do so or else refer to them were Mr and their last name or Mrs. /Miss and their last name. Class and sophistication is displayed by the use of Honorifics and last names. So always address your customers appropriately. 10. To make that great first impression always drives down the person yourself who pays a visit in your country. It will set a good impression and create a good ground for relationship building.

HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON.

It is common for everyone to experience a lack of focus from time to time. Some people struggle with it more than others. For some people it can pose a real problem. There are things that you can do to train your mind to stay focused and get the things done that you need to. Through-out your day and week and life, there are many places that you need to be focused in your life. It can be during a work meeting, a training session or an academic class. There are other areas that you need to be focused as well, such as finishing a project at work, working from home or trying to get into shape. All of these things require you to stay focused so that you can finish the job or stay with the information being addressed. It is uncomfortable for anyone to come away from a business meeting and not know what just happened. Many people day dream during meetings where they are not directly involved. This is a problem because at anytime someone could ask you an opinion and as an adult it`s not appropriate to shrug your shoulders and slide down in your chair as you may have done in grade three. Another reason you need to stay focused in a meeting is that there might have been some issues discussed that you need to be aware of. After the meeting another co-worker could ask you about it and not knowing is not very professional. There are some tips to staying focused during a business meeting even if it is utterly boring. You will want to clear you mind of all other things. This is not the time to think about buying new winter tires, shoes or a personal gym. You really need to keep your mind focused on what you are doing at the time you are doing it. To help you stay focused you can jot down notes, that way you are writing what you are hearing and perhaps it will help you retain what you are hearing. Try to get yourself involved in the conversation if you can. Even if it is not about you, even adding the odd point might help you get through it. If you are being trained for something at work, it is crucial to stay focused on the material being taught. Many people lose focus and have a hard time retaining what they just heard. A trick is to ask questions about everything even if you kind of understand what is going on. Asking questions will keep you aware of what is happening and will lead to further explanations and perhaps a better understanding for you. Staying focused might require some careful planning. If you are a person who struggles with focusing then creating a plan in your head before you start something might be a proactive solution! For example if you want to finish a project at home, you can think of ways that you can achieve that. You might know that distractions at home might keep you from your task. So it might be proactive to take the kids somewhere else, give the dog a huge bone to chew on and put your phone on vibrate. You might make a mental note that you won`t answer the phone unless it`s an emergency and that music might or might not help with your task. Set up a time slot to get your project done and create realistic time frames so that you will succeed.