EXCELLENCE

Try to be the Seeker
As a seeker, you would have just woken up from the "psychological sleep" in which you thought and believed that the results obtained by men of excellence were due to the vagaries of chance or luck. You have grasped clearly that there is a level of proficiency in any endeavour at which "impossible" feats to the many become the norm.
However, despite having glimpsed the concept and meaning of excellence or mastery, you still feel that it is a gift from the "gods". Therefore, not having understood all the factors which must be brought together to alchemically manifest excellence consistently, you remain fascinated by what it is and once in a while you hit that level of performance in your chosen discipline.
What is needed most at this stage is faith in and clarity as to the desired attainment. Knowing enough to pursue excellence, you must tenaciously maintain your idealism until ways and means by which to make the achievement of excellence more assured begin to reveal themselves to you intuitively. Thus you would pass onto the second stage.
Do all you can to be the Teacher
The teacher tries to work out techniques and processes to mathematically produce the desired outcome (i.e. excellence) at will. Being fascinated by how excellence manifests, you become versed in principles, practices and procedures by which to consistently achieve it.
You can pass this knowledge to others and they would achieve similar results. You not only conceive excellence but also believe in it. You take excellence out of the realm of the "gods" and slowly acquire all the "keys to the kingdom". You develop drills and slogans to internalize the principles.
However, the teacher still tries to be excellent in some things and sometimes. You do not yet know that excellence is an all-or-nothing affair. You hesitate to cross the point of no return to mediocrity for fear that you may need to sacrifice pastimes and habits that you yet enjoy (and not knowing for sure that there are other even more sublime pleasures if only you cross the bridge). This prevents you from marshalling all your forces into a laser focus and surrendering yourself wholly to the quest.
It often takes an archetypal event - e.g. falling in love, losing a dear one, experiencing a reversal in your fortunes - to jolt you to surrender yourself wholly and be initiated into the third stage of excellence.
You are destined to be the Leader
At this stage you have all the keys and principles and have internalized them as habits. You have a clear conception of excellence; you believe in it and are fully surrendered to its attainment because for you it has become a necessary reality. You live it, you breathe it and you care little about what others think of you as you devote yourself to your ideals.
The reason for this is that you have been initiated into why you must attain excellence. Your motivation has been stirred to the point where not attaining it is no longer an option for you. Yet you are guided by high ethical and moral standards, you maintain your integrity while showing respect for others. Your devotion to the principles of excellence is in all things and at all times - even when there is no immediate goal or end in sight. Your achievement of excellence is more assured in your every undertaking.
Your fascination with why you must attain excellence gives you the mysterious irrepressible drive, the unconquerable spirit that is the hallmark of the leader. Indeed, your actions (or, more accurately, dances) are of such beauty, power and truth as to compel emulation. Whether you like it or not, you'll have a followership - for good or bad.
While you are a seeker, excellence is a rosy dream that you would be happy to realize; as a teacher it is an aspiration that you try to reach; but as a leader excellence is a necessary reality of your very existence.
Each successive stage incorporates the competencies of the preceding stage. Progress through these stages is by no means automatic but depends, among other things, upon the clarity of your vision, your devotion to the quest and whether or not you receive sound instruction.
Finally, note that there is no end in this journey. After reaching the third stage of excellence at a particular level you start again at the first stage of excellence at a higher level of the craft. Thus goes on the endless spiral of excellence...

What is the ultimate approach to excellence? Of what relevance is spirituality in your quest for fulfillment and bliss? John D'Silva's effective-spirituality.com offers insights that would surprise and refresh you. John is happily devoted to helping You unleash Your Spirit of Excellence. Intelligence directs the universe, not chance.

We are created to fulfil a particular purpose on this earth.

THE FUNNIEST BELIEF OF THE 21ST CENTURY

 There's nothing impossible in this age and time. This is the belief of scientists world over. The effect of the moon on our health and happiness has always been the subject of great interest. The ancients believed that the fortunes of humans moved in cycles, just like the moon. As a matter of fact, the name of the Roman goddess of the moon, Luna, would be very familiar to you because of its use as the prefix in the word for madness, lunacy.To say that the moon causes madness may be going too far, but studies have shown that there are lots of conditions and ailments that flare up during the period of the full moon. These studies indicate that diseases like epilepsy, gout, anxiety and depression peak during this period. Hospitals always anticipate increased arrivals of traffic accident victims and other casualty admissions when the moon is full. Police departments will testify to the fact that they see a lot of homicidal activity and rash behavior at this time of the month. Amazingly enough, even absenteeism spikes during this period.The reasons for this are still unclear even though there have been many suggestions put forth over the years. One supposed reason is that the gravitational pull of the moon is the highest during this period. This is believed to have a direct effect on the human body which is composed of 70% water. The belief is that the moon's gravitational pull has the same effect on the human body as it has on all the seas, lakes etc on earth.There are quite a few inconsistencies with this line of thinking. In the first place, the gravitational pull of the moon remains constant irrespective of whether it is waxing or waning. Just because we can't see the moon does not mean that it is not there. Similarly, the water inside our bodies cannot be separately affected by lunar gravity. It affects only bodies of open water.It is very likely that most of the behavior long associated with the moon such as insomnia, seizures and mental illness had some other cause. Researchers believe that fungus in badly preserved food, which was quite common in those days, could have been the real reason for the hallucinations that were perhaps diagnosed as madness. Also, in the days before street lighting, a full moon would have seemed much brighter than it does today, and this could cause sleeplessness and anxiety and thereby push a person over the edge.While these reasons have now been discredited, doctors and scientists are keeping their minds open about the effect the moon has on human beings. This subject does need a lot more research, particularly on the moon's impact on internal body rhythms due to the effect its light has on the pineal gland.Irrespective of what the real reasons are, doctors, emergency technicians and the police brace themselves for a busy few days when the moon is at the fullest and brightest. If you know someone who is prone to depression, alcoholism or rash behavior, they could do with some extra attention now.

TESTED PRACTICAL TIPS ON CONTROLLING ANGER

Anger is as much a part of human behavior as happiness and sadness
are. However, there is a difference. While other types of displays of
emotion are not destructive, anger is a harmful phenomenon as it
brings about the worst in us and creates a sense of negativity in the
environment too.

Reasons for Anger

In order to control anger, one needs to understand the symptoms and
reasons that lead to anger. Some of them are -

- External Reasons - Unforeseen or unpleasant situations that are
beyond our control lead to anger. Also behavior of others like our
colleagues, spouse, boss, children, friends etc may lead to anger.

- Internal reasons - Most of the time it is our inner conflicts that
lead to anger. Not getting our way, frustrations of childhood, need to
control others, etc are some such reasons which may lead to anger.

Effects of Anger

More often than not, anger leads to unpleasant effects in our
relationships. It undermines our self esteem and self confidence and
most importantly, affects our health. It is thus important to harness
anger.

Ways to Control Anger

Anger management is very important since it plays up with our health
as well as social standing. Therefore, one would do well to control it
by some of the following methods.

- Recognize and avoid triggers that lead to anger.

- Be more forgiving and understanding.

- Acceptance of failures of self and others also leads to a more
harmonious situation.

- Lifestyle changes like proper diet, proper sleep, good hygiene and
good hobbies take the mind away from depressing and negative
situations thus preventing conflicting situations.

- Keep a positive outlook to life, avoiding negative thoughts and
negative feelings.

- Keeping calm and composed under all types situations

- Yoga and Meditation

Controlling anger builds bridges between people and leads to happy
relationships based on mutual respect, understanding and love.

These days we seem to be under pressure wherever we go. The roads are
busier than ever, people we meet in the street and in stores seem to
lack courtesy, and the stress levels at work have increased greatly as
businesses strive to become more "efficient".

Everywhere we go we are bombarded with advertising messages, and the
news media seems to have become biased, often seeming to promote those
we feel are unworthy, promoting "celebrity" instead of genuine talent.
Politicians are afraid to speak the truth for fear of being
deliberately misquoted in the media, or not towing the party line.

Life sometimes just seems to be designed to wind one up, and we become
a tinderbox of raw emotion, ready to explode at the nearest motorist
who makes a genuine mistake, from the anonymity of our car.

So how do you keep your temper under control? After all, anger is a
perfectly normal emotion; it's just our personal threshold, the point
at which it is triggered that we need to control.

Tip 1. The first thing to recognise that moment when you feel you are
about to lose it, is just try and step outside yourself and look at
this person. Is he being reasonable in losing his temper? Just by
pausing gives you a few moments to reflect on your anger before it
surfaces.

Tip 2. Learn to combine this pause for reflection with the taking of
deep breaths. As you breathe you will start to relax, and the anger
you felt building inside will subside.

Tip 3. Spend some time thinking about why you get angry. Think of the
consequences of losing your temper. Yes, it may feel good at the time
as you release all that pent up tension, but how do you feel later?
Usually we feel regret and more anger, this time directed at ourselves
for making such a scene.

Tip 4. Think about how you would feel about someone acting in the same
way as you. Imagine watching yourself the last time you got angry. How
do you feel? Is that what you want people to think of you?

The bottom line is, next time you feel like losing your temper take a
"chill pill".

Losing one's temper can sometimes be as a result of low self image.
Every time you choose (because it is a choice) not to get angry, you
will feel better about yourself. Further, the more you resist the
temptation to blow up, the easier you will find it to control your
temper without thinking about it.

HOW TO BE RATIONAL IN REACTIONS TO IRRITABLE ACTIONS

Do you ever find that you respond to a situation in a reactive way? Do
you ever lose your patience, avoid confrontation, or lack self-
discipline? I think most of us do at one time or another.

The key is to choose wisely how we use the space between the stimulus
and response.

For example, let's say that a coworker has been saying unkind things
about you to other people you work with. That is the stimulus. What
you choose to do with that stimulus is the response.

Reactive people allow outside influences (moods, feelings, and
circumstances) to control their responses.

Proactive people pause to allow themselves the freedom to choose their
response based on principles and desired results. Their freedom to
choose expands as they wisely use the space between the stimulus and
response.

Here is an exercise that will assist you in becoming a proactive
person rather than a reactive person.

1. Think of a situation where you consistently respond in a reactive
way (e.g. losing your patience, avoiding confrontation, speaking
without thinking).

2. What is a better, more effective way to respond?

3. What would be the positive consequences of responding in this new
way? (Who would be affected? What would be the impact?)

4. What is your commitment level to respond in this new way the next
time you are in this situation? (Circle the number that corresponds to
your commitment level.)

SIMPLE WAYS OF CHECKMATING AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER

Everybody wants to believe that their partner is faithful to them. That those loving looks and moments of intimacy are for them alone. The thought of another person leaning in to kiss the nape of their neck can drive you crazy, the idea that they might be laughing at another person's jokes, looking them in the eyes, sharing that special energy that you thought was for you two alone. How can you tell? What are some warning signs that your partner has either already begun to cheat on you, or is about to? First of all, check in with your gut feeling. The longer you are with somebody, the better you can read them. If something is off, but you don't know what, if you have the sensation that a disconnect has developed but you can't pinpoint why, that might be your unconscious telling you that something is up. So pay attention to your hunches�don't rationalize them away. However, this can also lead to disaster�if you are by nature a jealous person, it won't take much to set you off. Let your hunches serve you as an alert, not as the final verdict itself. A feeling that something is off could be reason to start paying attention, not to start yelling and demanding answers. Another thing to keep an eye out for is for your partner to suddenly grow randomly affectionate and caring. Sudden flowers, kisses, frenzied attacks in bed�these could all be attacks of conscious on their part, with their trying to relieve their guilt from having cheated by being extra nice to you. Again, hunches will go a long way here. If you're honestly puzzled by the sudden change in behavior, especially if this comes after a period of lack of interest and boredom, keep in mind it could signal something far worse than just an upswing in affection. Does your partner have a good friend of the opposite gender that they're always hanging out with? Notice how much they talk to you about them. You'll know you're the primary focus of your partner's interest if they share gossip and secrets about their friend with you; if instead they seem to be sticking up for them all the time, presenting you an ideal image of them or simply not talking about them, then that indicates that their comfort level has changed in discussing this friend with you. If your partner is cheating on you, they will be unhappy. While they might be enjoying their interludes with their new friend, when at home they will be anxious, moody, depressed, alternating between highs and lows. If your partner is starting to experience mood swings, one reason might be their inability to reconcile their cheating on you with their conscience, Remember: the most important part of any relationship is communication. Talk to your partner about your insecurities. How you discuss this is more important than anything else; accusations will elicit a defensive response. Rather, open up and tell them you are feeling a strange vibe, that you're not certain where they are emotionally, and you want to know if there's anything they want to tell you. If they brush you off, or laugh at you, well, then there's not much you can do. However, providing this window of opportunity to discuss problems is always healthy for a relationship, and can either trigger a confession or prevent your partner from going in the wrong direction by bringing them closer to you before they make their mistake.

HOW TO SIPHON YOUR UNFAITHFUL PARTNER'S PRIVACY

Do you want to know how to read your wife's text messages online? Would you like to know who your wife is always texting? Does she constantly text at random hours of the night and claim it is just a friend? There are many reasons why you should want to know how to read your wife's text messages online. Your wife may always be texting and never let you know who she is talking to. Is she over protective of her phone and say it's none of your business? Does your wife act suspicious whenever she has her phone out and everything becomes awkward? If you experience any of these with your wife you should definitely want to know how to read your wife's text messages online. It is much more efficient to read your wife's text messages online rather than trying to do it yourself. Many men try to take their wife's phone while they are in the shower or making dinner and try to look through her text messages very quickly. However, doing this won't be very useful. If your wife was really talking to other men she wouldn't leave the texts on her phone she would delete them once they finished talking. Women are smart. By trying to look through your wife's phone you also risk the chance of getting caught by your wife. If your wife sees you looking through her phone she will become very upset. It will cause much more problems whether or not she has inappropriate texts from other people. Your wife will begin to think you don't trust her and that you are always suspecting her of doing something wrong. The truth is you just care about your wife and want to know who she is always texting but of course she wouldn't think that. What if you were able to learn how to read your wife's text messages online? This way your wife would never know you were reading through her texts. You wouldn't have to go through all of the risks of getting caught looking through your wife's phone or the consequences of getting caught. You would be undetectable by your wife and she would never know that you were reading her text messages. You would be able to read all of your wife's text messages from the comfort of your computer. This is your chance to learn how to read your wife's text messages online and find out who your wife is always texting. There is finally a way to read your wife's text messages without having to physically have her phone. Figure out if all of your wife's suspicious actions really mean she is texting other men or doing inappropriate things. Get hold of your wife`s cell phone ones and you can install a software that will able you to read all her text messages even if she deletes them. You can access all her text messages online without her even knowing it. Find out exactly how this software works.